i think it might be the end of le milky blog. its too depressing and i find it too tempting to read over all of my 206 posts and watch myself grow. sort of sad to say tata to my online diary, but i think it's about time. ciao for now, all you non-existent readers.

It's not the pale moon that excites me,

i cant write anymore.

life is sweet

so, I'm sitting on my couch, alone. Not even the cat. i kind of like it. i definitely like the feeling of typing on my computer again. listening to the chemical brothers and pretending i enjoy it, even though it sounds worse than dubstep to me. i know, they were the original, the beginning of dance, but progression is good, and im fuck off glad that genre progressed from this shit. uncultured 4 life.
i feel like i should get up and do things but at this point i am just happy chilling about on the couch, writing sweet nothings to myself and who ever else may read this.

suddenly i feel pretty hopeless and confused. off i go into a pit of happy lies.

not today

bit high, i must say. my T button wasnt working for a moment there and it was a pretty stressful activity.
made a few fascinating discoveries this evening. All of a sudden i feel extremely anxious and yet rather happy. its the strange feeling, i must say.
have been fairly boring lately. did a lot of washing, work my twenty hours, throw the cat at walls.
I LIE. i love the cat actually. she has become very snuggly and lovely. she still meows like a psycho and likes to get high, but at least she doesnt shit all over everything.
i feel like doing something quite drastic.

fuck, sometimes i wonder where my brain goes when i'm writing cooked shit about cats on this thing.
sometimes i like to sit and imagine looking at myself through the eyes of another person. it makes me feel strange and worried because my brain always starts thinking about how i must look retarded and the person is judging me. but thats just me i guess.

i should have a quick nap before bec gets here otherwise i will fall over and go to sleep while she's talking to me. and that would probably not make her happy. but then again im not alive to make other people happy.

my phone just told me i am over 100% on my data. i am ignoring it (bad idea) for some reason. i have spent so much in the last few days, its actually ridiculous. i need to work out that i must stop spending too much money on stupid amounts of unnecessary things to make sure other people are comfortable/happy.

i think inanimate objects are demons coming after me, and i get paranoid even thinking about the word "murder" (i've just thrown myself into anxious paranoia with that) but nonetheless, i am comfortable. linkin park is deafening me, and probably the neighbours as well, i can chinotto. in a moment of extreme dehydration i taught myself how to open bottles with a lighter. its amazing what lack of liquids can do ;D


metallica is quite tasty. im finding all thats odd dubstep and dance music too hard to listen to at the moment. i go into an odd trance and find it awkward and difficult to speak to people.
god theres something wrong with this. why am i writing still. clearly it is not good. clearly it is bad. it turns out im just sketchy as hell and really enjoying this chinotto. tastes like delicious. as per usual. sitting in the chair, just generally staying in one room. some things make me very happy. this is one of them. everythings sort of yellow and the fridge makes a comforting noise. weird i know, but sometimes when i am trying to go to sleep in the lounge, the fridge stops making that noise and suddenly i cant fathom sleeping because it feels very quiet. the fridge kills the quiet. when the quiet kills the fridge its all over.
i think the reason im enjoying this chinotto so much is it taste like delicious. i have always found chinotto to be a very weird drink. it doesnt really taste nice, but somehow it tastes nice. its very confusing. deceptive perhaps.
did you know nyan cat has an app. its called 'nyan cat : lost in space'. what the fuck? i almost dowloaded it and then thought better of it. downloading games at this point is out of the question. i have no money. and no brain it would seem. i just spent about thirty seconds staring dazedly into space, wobbling my head a little bit. well it felt like i was wabbling my head, but it might have just been sitting where it usually is, being happy. i have, at this point, completely lost track of what i was saying before and cant seem to be able to stop typing long enough to look up, read it and then work out what the fuck i was talking about.
explanation of the century. i bet you know exactly how i feel at the moment. i am typgint oo fast and am recoiling from my own ever-speedy fingers. there was a bit of a break in the speedy fingers while i found the hyphen. it took me a while. listening to some quality all american rejects. i feel like a douche saying that. maybe its because AMR are essentially a boy band and i associate boy bands with lame.
i just got really nostalgic for some reason. it was pretty intense. from listening to the bravery.
i sort of miss all my old friends. i miss working at the stirling. all the choices i have made up until this point have crippled me. i could be so much more than this but instead im just a highschool dropout with no qualifications and no direction. when is that ever a recipe for yummy cake. thats always,100% a recipe for shitty ass cake.
i hate shitty ass cake. i havent had to eat it in a while, and i dont fancy doing so right now.

throw me into the sea

i feel like shit. i feel like not doing anything ever again. speaking, or coming up with someting to say for that matter, is like hell right now. i dont want to eat my dinner, i dont want to go out and watch movies, i dont even really want to write. i wrote up my monthly expenditures, did a basic weekly shopping list. you know, things that seem productive but arent really in any way, shape or form.
i should do some cleaning, sweep the floor in the kitchen, clean up the bedroom, vacuum in the hall and scrub the bathroom, but me and my bald head cannot be fucked. i should take mums advice from last weekend. when you feel like shit, get up and move around. when you feel good, that's when you stay home and have lazy days. endorphins and shit.
even as i think about getting things done i feel happier and more like a can type fast. i still dont want to eat my dinner, but that's okay.
i need to buy kitchen things. tupperware, a food processed. beater. you know, the usual things that one dreams of. i need coffee. i need to not smoke anymore, even though it is so enjoyable.
i need to throw my face around, wear pretty things. just generally be exciting. i need to throw caution to the wind and blow bitches up.
i need to get a hold of myself and not just write words as they come to mind.
peace out, im off to move things around. love.

no body broke your heard

dear people,
you are all lovely.
now, there is nothing worse than the last hour of work. time is a shitstain on the face of humanity. i think i have said that a few times before, possibly in those exact same words. the brain, what a wonderful thing.
so, i have found myself in a mood. not a good mood, nota bad mood, but a waiting mood, in which i wait for things to happen with so much gusto its almost unbelievable.
very rarely do i ever have nothing to say, but it's one of those days. one of those bits of life where maggies brain is silent. it says nought but how happy i am.
which whilst a good thing, also leads to bad things because i must vent something. happy doesnt write for me, or draw, or do anything really. it just floats me through life on a cloud of indecision and carefree annoyingness.
i miss my friends. i want them to call me, or reply to my message. hah! the gods just smiled or something, because i just got a reply to my message. what a fluke.
sick of answering phones in my vegemite jumper. its not difficult, i just think think vegemite deserves more in life than answering phones.
mon mere seems quite keen on the idea of me leaving the homestead for bigger and slightly less better things.
Love her.