more often than not, i dont think.
there is something lovely and soothing about jamiroqui. he is my friend. that is all,. i feel uninspired :P

easy come, easy go, that's the way you live.

i am so well set up here. i have croissants and jam and corona and lime and cigarettes and an assh tray. man i love stuff sometimes. i am such a lightweight, i've had one beer and i feel tipsy. cants say that i dislike it. i love the wombats, they are awesome.

damn it motherfuckers, should i leave work or should i keep going. its such a hard decision. what if this really is what i want to do with my life and i throw it away so i can go back to school/. i mean i can always go back to it, but do i want to?
do i want to make the mistake of leaving the best job ever and going back somewhere i hate so i can find out if there's something i like more? its harder finishing school, but i wan to be the first person in my family to finish school properly and go to a formal and be happy and have real friends. i just dont know.
this is going to be so hard, i either leave one group of people that i lovebehind, or i leave another group of people that i love.
i wish it could just end.
i wish someone could make this decision for me. the thing is i can't have both worlds, i have to choose. i cant be friends with the people that i am friends with now, and keeo working the way i do now. i have to lose something no matter what i do, and i have so much to lose right now.
i contemplated just walking out so many times tonight, i couldnt stop almost crying the whole night because i know that i ave to make a massive decision.
oh man, why cant god just make this decision for me.
i talked to him last night and i still dont have any answers. i dont know what i expect. some sort of epiphany?
the problem is, i felt alone when i was at school, i hated everything, and now im working and i still feel alone, and i still hate a lot of things, but i dont know if working like this is going to make it better or not?
i am so lost.
i dont know if i can go to work every day and watch what happens right in front of me and feel depressed every day.
i cant say what i want to say because people might read it but i just dont think i can do it. i almost cried today, when i saw those people. just the fact that they are with one another hurts me. i feel so worthless sometimes and alone. i cant look at them without feeling like i dont even mean anything. i cant even read the status because it hurts so much.
i am so stuck in the middle of this big ass lump of shit.
ergh, i just want it to go away,
i love you Pink Floyd.
i hate 2011, its making me feel like crap already and its only just begun. WHAT DO I DO? shit's so fucked up.