fuck fuck.
so why do people kill themselves. drag the razor across your skin and pray for the courage to press down? tie the noose and ask god to kick away the chair for you? watch a truck drive at you and hope the driver presses the brakes too late?
what are they thinking. leave the rest of us all here to take the suffering and make something out of it? get the fuck out before the color can even come back in to the world? don't even stay to watch the rest of us come out the other side of this shitstorm, bruised and battered, but still alive, and still human.
shit must beat down pretty hard before you can fuck everyone over like that. there's a point where its not about you anymore, and it starts to effect everyone around. imagine how many paintings we wouldnt have if van gough had fucking died face down that night he hacked his ear off? imagine how many people we've lost before the can make the difference they were supposed to make. imagine how many people have taken their own lives before they can change the world. imagine the people that are left alone when you take your life. fuck you. fuck you, thinking you can doll out shit like you're jesus. fuck you for having the courage to die. fuck you for watching us suffer through everything and not even taking us with you. fuck you.
baby im here for you, but i have to go.
you have no right to go, no right to lock yourself in a room and take a hundred pills while no ones looking. no right to leave us here to sort you out.
no right to sleep in a fucking coffin forever while we wait for our time to come.
fuck you, and fuck your useless death, because it didnt help.
you didnt help.
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