I've been so angry lately. all the people I actually care about have abandoned me and the people I have left are the ones i want to abandon. even listening to them talk now, the way they're talking is making me angry. if I were bolder I would just walkout of this place and never talk to them Again. it seems to me that they are very stuck up. sometimes I wonder if I am like that, and I hope to he'll that I'm not, they're making me want to vomit. I wish I wasn't the only one here who wants to go somewhere in my life. you'd think that after twenty seven years of doing the same thing, only just scraping by each day, would give you some form of motivation to do better.
I want to go home but dinner isn't even ready yet and therewas extra food bought for me and I will feel bad if I don't have some. I wish I had someone to talk to but atthe same time I am happy that I don't.
I sort of hate that I need someone to depend on all the time. it's just that right now, I feel like I am totally alone. is that bad? I have no idea. the only thing is that I feel like everyone has gone. I really cannot think of anyone.
I have to stop being a fucking dreamer and get real. because dreaming is pushing me deeper and deeper Into a deep crevasse of depression and it's somewhere that I'm scared to be.
I want food and I want to go home. I'm sick of these people, this place... I dot even know why I came here. I just want my big one back, because i havent got anyone else anymore ):
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