oh lordly, i am so good at procrastination. less than two minutes ago i was diligently reading through notes about Rupert Maxwell Stuart, and now they are cast aside on my bed and i am writing about absolutely nothing.
i realized i have changed a lot in the last few weeks. you have no idea how many posts i have begun, trying to complain about how terrible my life is, and i get about two paragraphs in and just delete it all. I haven't posted in a while because of that. it is so hard to find things to say when i can't complain.
surprisingly enough, there is only one person that can cheer me up as of late, and he is possibly one of the most annoying people i have ever met. if it were easier to see the good in people, he would come off as amazing, but it's not, so it's taken me a little while to get past the pretentious outside, and get to the bit that is actually bearable.
i think i like being able to eventually work my way through the terrible outside of someone's personality and understand them a little better.
it's funny because nothing he can say really offends me, maybe because he doesn't mean it, maybe because for the first time, i have met someone that i don't care what they think of me.
It's very unusual for me, but i like it.
in other news, i am leaving school, hopefully at the end of this term. i am going to go and do my apprenticeship. i don't really care whereabouts, but i am going to do it, and finish it, and to be honest, this time i am way more positive than i was before.
i think it might be partially because i know what to expect. i think for the rest of my life i will always have a hatred for applying for new jobs, and going in to interviews, but if i can get through that part, i should be all right.
I always say weird things in interviews, and i'm never sure what i should say, but i think eventually people get the point of what i am trying to say. plus i don't always spin myself as a wonderful person.
i think maybe it will be different now.
mostly because i hardly even know what i like anymore.
i have learned to think a bit more before i speak though. on Monday i have to go and speak to a teen psychologist called Fiona about...well i don't really know what i am supposed to say when i go there, but i intend to talk her ears off, if i can bring myself to.
anyhow, i should off go, and finish this boring ass assignment, even though i have already got a zero for it. i am hoping my teacher will take it late because i haven't been there, but i doubt it.
i am going to fail the class anyway because i never did the oral.
No comments:
Post a Comment