so, i am sitting watching masterchef, which is a nice change from cougar town, which i have been watching for about two nights straignt. i love it though, so funny. i am so going to live in a cul de sac when i am a grown up. haha, grown up. i love being young enough to say that still. i am pretty grown up already. but i act like a little kid.
lately i have felt like utter crap. ever since i realised that i can't just talk about my problems left right and centre i have been bottling up, and its making me feel worse and worse. and when i finally think maybe it's okay to say something about how terrible i feel, i find myself absolutely unable to say anything at all.
its terrible.
some people have an ability to cheer me up, and then i end up reading over our conversations over and over, and then finally, i die a little because all i want is to talk to them again.
Facebook isnt working on becs computer either, so im still fucked.
inspiration isn't here tonight. i feel empty, like a giant balloon. i feel like i'm going to float away.
i know if i try to some giant anvil of feeling will thump down on my head again. why is it that i have the ability to cheer other people up, but when it comes to myself i just can't.
now i am just complaining for the sake of it.
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